The corner of close and soon

It's weird to think that last Friday about this time, I was slipping a cliff-face into a lagoon in Norway. Now, I'm sitting at a regional airport almost 4 hours ahead of my flight because I got panicky and decided I was better off at the airport than worrying myself sick over missing a plane. There are worse things, to be sure. I'm armed with books from my aunt, episodes  of 'Backlisted' and 'Feminist Wellness' to catch up on and I suppose I could continue down the rabbit hole of 'Stranger Things,' although I find it a bit too much of too many things: 'The  Watcher in the Woods,' meets  'Friday the 13th the Series,' meets 'The X-Files', meets 'Blair Witch Project' with touches of Twin Peaks and Eerie, Indiana and I am grumpily impressed that Matthew Modine is so good at being a sinister medical bureaucrat. 

I'm still on the hamster wheel of dead dad bureaucracy, having spent more hours on hold and in line than I care to acknowledge. None of it is life/death stuff, but it does involve the IRS and the IRS are even more terrifying to me than...well, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe having to return to online dating?  I mean, honestly, 2 coffee dates with a nice Swedish-Ethiopian guy, one derailed brunch, and a charming series of dinners with a nice 1st generation British-Mynamarese...it's not that I discount the value of these experiences, I just don't think they equal to the amount of energy in navigating these platforms.  Also, maybe we (Anglo-American culture) have it wrong; I kind of feel like this might be the better dynamic: https://youtu.be/PDbsKnSN4lo, the dating equivalent of 'Would I have a pint with this person? Yes. Would I let them spend time with my dog? Hmmmm. Indeed.  'Chemistry and Sustainability: next on 'The Stair Life Monologues.' It makes me think of that song...what is it? 'Forever for Now.  How can you not love a song that includes an information desk? 

Logging on at the airport, the clickbait headlines are many. An article on Ellen Barkin's testimony in the Heard/Depp debacle catches my eye and I think about her request to change language “purely platonic friendship to romantic” — then asked to correct the record “Can you change that to ‘sexual’? Thank you.” It's an interesting distinction and I like her candidness. Why dress it up? 'Sexual' is just as valid a need as 'romance' but they are not mutually exclusive.  I love that clarification, the distinction, so very Marlene Detrich.  

My last two days have been spent waiting to sign the last bit of brother documentation. I find a gorgeous dress for the client pitch next week, get littles squared away with underthings for the new school year. The BD has put in a request for camo colored kit, which I adore. The Sandman is banking on a Spiderman/Sonic the Hedgehog hybrid/lovechild. Can I make that happen? I wish at these times I was a better seamstress. 

I'll arrive home to a quiet house. Our late summer house guest/au pair arrives next week and I need to be strategic in my planning of things for her to crack on with.  I have so many little admin projects, I wonder if I'll be able to relinquish control and trust her to handle them. Trust: that small word that requires so much. I want so much to believe it an action I am capable of again.