Your 50th wedding anniversary was two days ago. I took you and mama to dinner and tried to explain just how it came to be I misplaced my mind just so quite dangerously, this time. It was a very different break than with Fang.   Maybe I backed over it in the drive, more focused on that getting that perfect Alanis Morrisette, circa 1996.  Maybe I dropped it like a ball of yarn I was extreme crocheting on the District Line just before I found out I was pregnant with Fang in 2009, when Swine Flu quarantine was a thing. Maybe it's in that day planner I lost in Prague near IP Pavlova during the IMF riots. It could loose change between the car seats and consoles of the cars I've loved and left.  I am fairly confident mama kicked you under the table; it can be hard to tell at ghost meals...she'll have kicked you because she remembers how it feels - even if you refused to feel - the wrenching of a biological parent crossing over to soon. And hers didn't involve a...