Ohio Summertime

I mean....it's such a short visit and I thought I would feel flayed. But it feels right, timely. Appropriate.  Of course I turn on the if ignition and John Mellancamp is on the radio.  My own playlist is such a hodge podge, I don't even how to describe it, though Lainey Wilson's 'Heart like a Truck,' ('Mama - it's a song about you!') has been on repeat a bit, if I am honest. And Velvet Elvis, but that could be down to nostalgia. 

On Oak Street, I am wrapped up in genuine affection. My own room, coffee on the porch with people I love, friends who say 'You could buy a house near here! There's one for sale right up the street!' Summers in Dayton, farmers markets, the Little Miami, walking distance to the library and the movie theatre, I could do that.  I could split root myself in a place that has always been a harbour, even if I didn't know what safety felt like. 

At the local Chase branch, I start to cry with relief. At first, I don't even realise I am crying. After months of looped conversations, speaking at cross-purporses, I am able to deposit my brother's inheritance check, opening him up to a semblance of managed self-sufficiency. And I didn't lose the cheque, which has been a recurring theme in recent nightmares. 

4000 miles over 3 days for something that takes 90 minutes.  I must confess, I am proud of myself. Is it cheeky to give myself props? Now I am with in spitting distance of being able to get back to the business of sorting out my own business.  My UK will is still outstanding, I need to re-negotiate a mortgage, prep for a project pitch, decide if I want to pitch for a second...heritage statement for the front door, Sandman's birthday presents and plans. I just don't want things to blur.

Whilst I am contemplating the reconfiguration of my to-do list, my friend L reaches out for feedback about The League, yet another dating app. 

There's the outstanding decision of whether to engage another matchmaker, since working with Tailor Matched was such a bust. I see the closeness between people and I know I am capable, am meant, deserving of such bonds, as well as ace sex, which follows on from recent discussions about a recent dating/partner sites and why I would even consider putting a significant amount of money into looking for the person, especially if I am still at a stage where what I am looking for in the immediacy is 'casually serious,' where we know we're the thing but are not rushing towards an end goal. Married again? Maybe. A big wedding? Never been my jam. Many parties? Absolutely. Conventional monogamy? Hi, have we met?

I'm pretty convinced recent encounters have spreadsheets and who am I to judge?clearly going off of chemistry and intuition isn't working for me beyond a casual moment.  I envision these spreadsheet types with a carousel of photos they send out, updating their spreadsheets to make sure they aren't dovetailing.

'We should do a review of the different sites.' 

'Let's do it. I mean, I love a good yelp review. How else