A dark and stormy night at the edge of the Black Forest

 I arrived Saturday evening.  It was ultimately 12 hours travel, door to door. This trip has made me fall in love with Deutsche Bahn again and the efficiency of the service.  No leaves on the line, immediate updates, reasonably priced, efficient service. It begs to wonder what one could expect if we invested properly in our own transport infrastructures with a view to being less concerned about monetary profit. I also realize/remember the beauty of traveling on my own: I have no agenda and no place to be. If I want to stay longer in Baden Baden, I could. Or not...Even flying out of Prague on Friday doesn't have to happen, as long as I am back in Colchester on Saturday.

The hotel is a efficient and charming as I remember and I settle in quickly, though by the time I do, it is well after 1030. The hotel restaurant 'Fritz and Felix' is named after a friendship between a fox and hare. The food is modern European, with a Japanese flourish here and a South American twist there. As expected, it is exquisitely presented. The sourdough and chive butter alone could have been my meal. I sleep deeply, go down for breakfast, then back to bed for another 5 hours. Is it ridiculous to travel all this way only to sleep? 

I venture out in the late afternoon, wander through the park and into town for the Christmas Market and strudel. I walk for hours, through the Jimmy Robert retrospective at the Burda Museum and a photo exhibit of local Black Forest photographers. One in particular's work is utterly disturbing, in part because I've seen these images before, these moments, in a series of nightmares. Clearly, coming here is something I was supposed to do. The de ja vu is intense as I wander around the town, which is doubly odd, as I was only here for an afternoon in 1993. I find the perfect spot to set some of Peggy and Jim free and smile as  I do so. 

I've opted to undergo genomic testing whilst I am here. Not only will it answer those pesky exacerbating health and genealogy questions, it will also supposedly give me a map for life forward, how to live at my most optimum. Given that I list when left to my own devices, the executive functioning moving just beyond my ken, this is probably a good thing.  The things I am most worried about are wrapped up in not knowing, in dread and worry.  The head of the practice is ridiculously attractive, so much that when he leaves I turn to the doctor doing my exam: 'I've been confronted with physical perfection before but damn, he's daunting.' She laughed. 'I know. It is almost painful to look at him, he is so beautiful. And he is very easy to work with.'  We both laugh, then chat through the tests.  'There is always the great potential for bad news. Are you sure you are ready for that?' I nod. 'The worst is not knowing, if I am very honest.'  Dr Konig looks over my intake paperwork and my notes for why I want the testing. 'Yes, I can see why you would want to have these tests and you are a good candidate, especially with the heart disease and...well, yes. Knowing what can come - in my case, I am at 98% risk of colon cancer, both inherited and genetic, so knowing this, I can make lifestyle choices accordingly. Sometimes, it is about knowing.' He smiles kindly at me. 

I go for a walk after the testing, returning to the hotel for a nap and dinner. I wrap up the evening watching Hallmark Christmas movies in German, packing up for Stuttgart. I almost hesitated but it is the right turn to make on this adventure.