Who doesn't love a good spreadsheet?

Somewhere recently...was it in _Polysecure_? I read the teem Clandestine Non-Monogamy. In old school parlance, cheating. Sneaking around. Doing something you ain'tsupposed to be doin' with the person with whom you are currently you're nekked. You know...Old school. Like when stalking meant actually having to leave your house to torment someone, put the dead mice in their mailboxes. 

Anyway...the term has a noir-ish quality, doesn't? Clandestine Nonmonogamy.  Like, it would make a great sexy role play scene (adds to secy role play spreadsheet).  The thing is, it also implies that someone is getting screwed over, an unknowing cuckold. And THAT? For me? Not sexy.

This song, originally a duet between Reba McEntire and Linda Davis was in heavy rotation on my mom's playlist in 1993.  She spent much of her  married life to my father trying to unpick the lies and his cheating. Near as I figure now, it's only a matter of time before I get hit up by the siblings I didn't know I have. I wonder if that is why I've resisted the genealogy DNA tests. This version is Reba and Dolly. DOLLY. Be still my heart.

It's weird, because in this song, if the third unheard person had just been upfront about what they wanted and needed with all parties, no one would have needed to be afraid, angry, or ashamed. It just makes me wonder why someone would engineer a situation where they have to lie about what makes them happy.

Given my own recent experience with silver-tongued liars (if/when your gut knows they're lying...they are so talented at it...just enough truth to make you doubt yourself and what you know as fact.  Weirdly, of the 6 people I've encountered, the only one who wasn't lying about his situation was just so disrespect fully late, it was almost as bad. 

 The truth, the screenwriter reminds us, does not have versions, but you sit and listen because the other options leave you bored and well, the devil you know...), I guess I can't help a Friday afternoon of nostalgia, especially since today is supposedly Hospice Move Day.

 In my case, I'm actively recording my speculations but doing nothing to find answers to those questions because...I'm more interested in the Tree of Life as opposed to Knowledge at the moment. As my coach says 'You can choose. Do you want to be right, vindicated? Or do you want to be happy?' Roll those dice, buttercup. Let's do this. 

Growing up, my film viewing habits were a mess.  My parents let me watch pretty much anything.  Plus, AMC came online with a line up of old films like nothing we make today.  

Jim and I kept it simple: crime and war movies. The Dirty Dozen. The French Connection. We like to watch together and point out the inaccuracies, verify plot line, hypothesize.

With my mom, it was mostly chick-flicks.  if there was a movie about adultery, triangulation, a woman wronged, a woman scorned...Peggy was on it like white on rice. I kid you not, we went on a mama-daughter the year Bulemia became my favoured hobby (later replaced by cleptomania, obviously, because I am that walking cliché) where the movie she chose was 'Prince of Tides.' People! I was 12. (I also love that movie, but still. Read. The. Room. Not gonna help the kiddo get her 'normal' on.) Another Peggy favourite was 'Heartburn.' The book (by Nora Ephron) is also wonderful and has recipes. I recommend it, and not just for the vinegrette.

In Peggy's case, what she could never forgive was being lied to, she couldn't forgive being played. At this particular juncture in the Jenkins-Howse union, I don't think she'd have given more than 2 shakes of duck's ass who Daddy was spending horizontal time with, but to lie about it? And badly? Why? Why do that?

My own personal line has always been I'll ask how much you want to know. I won't lie, but I'm not going write it on a sandwich board unless that's your thing. 'I'm just doin' in the light what you want to do in the dark,' as Sunny Sweeney trills over the jukebox in the dive bar I am frequenting in my head. My moral compass isn't taking a break though. It's leading me exactly where it should.