Homeward

I've been feeling quite uprooted so I've decided to go back to the beginning. It occurs to me that I haven't been to the place where I was hatched to properly explore...ever. So, that is what I am going to do, right before I take myself off to Brenner Park for a bit of proper R&R. Nothing quite like being wrapped in cotton wool, with childhood comforts to ease a troubled soul, or so I am hoping. 

I suppose my longing to be back in the Black Forest is all of the Grimm's fairy tales, the films like 'Now, Voyager' and books such 'Tender is the Night,' have shaped my sense of what a lady must do to recover herself.

Maybe the time at Bedlam, working on all those patient records. Maybe it's that my dreams are so vivid that lately, it takes me a fair bit of time to return to this real after I wake. 

Regardless, between this trip and February, plus planning for the summer, I have much to contemplate. I spent Monday night in Brighton and last night Letchworth Garden City, a place I never really considered. 

Letchworth reminds me greatly of Garden City, Long Island, which is to be expected, I suppose. Similarly founded, built in similar times, it feels like how the English think American suburbs work and yet...it doesn't quite have the uniformity. The hotel was seemingly comfortable but in a laughing way. It called to mind the hotels we stayed in during our trips to Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. The hotel has been surfacely upgraded but you can almost hear the crackle of listening devices and feel the tackiness of stale nicotine. 

The gallery space was expansive, especially for a council-funded endeavour but the vibe was...off-kilter, the instructor being one of those individuals who tends to forget that the model is an actual human, but they were polite enough. By the end of the evening, my tips of my toes and nose were icy. I slept fitfully, held between worlds.  Is it the full moon?