'You are speaking on a Federally Recorded Line'

When I speak to my brother and I am in the US, the calls give you the option to decline a call.

'You are receiving a call froman inmate at [Insert Prison Name here].  Do you accept the charges?'

When he phones me in the UK 'You are receiving a call from a US Federal Prison. You may start speaking after the tone.'  You can always decline a call but 9/10 times, I will take the call. He drives me nuts but he is my brother and I love him. 

There is a threshold of 'My money, your money, our money,'

The prison he is at is not a country club. In fairness, I am not sure there is anything a country club prison. I spent one night as a 'guest' of the Montgomery County Jail in Dayton, Ohio in August of 1998, and that was not luxury getaway. I do remember the rubber shoes being comfortable and the scrubs - orange - being soft but almost threadbare.  It was not a place from which I would have requested a late check out.

My brother is sharing a blockwith a lot of 'Lifers.' His own sentence is currently at 17 years - trafficking methamphetamine comes at a much higher price than the $10,000/ a package he was offered to act as a logistics hub for drug-trafficking white supremacists. Spoiler alert: we're Jewish. Things occasionally get dicey. 

The toilet in his cells is ceramic. It has been leaking for the last 18 months.  His last cell mate, Pete, had been convicted of Armed Robbery in 1971.  He had been in prison for 53 years. Before his last transfer, he hadn't been outside in several years.  

Pete had a seizure on a Thursday morning in February. He went into hospital and later that weekend, most of his personal belongings were collected by the guards. Getting an update is tricky and Jay has a new cellmate now. They seem to rub along together but my brother wonders what happened to Pete. Updates are slow going. The prison that he is at seems to be under perpetual lockdown and is currently being investigated for human rights violations.

We discuss whether we should kick up a fuss, but this isn't my brother's first prison rodeo, it's his third time round. Whilst recent shifts in marijuana laws may mean reduced jailtime on his current sentence, he still has to live in the present and that sometimes means just staying alive. Filing complaints, that can be a fast way to not being alive.  Solitary 

When we look at prison statistics and rates of recidivism in the US, we know the system of crime and punishment is broken. The number of people who are in prison for repeat offenses is staggering, heartbreaking. 

My brother is autistic and lives with a significant TBI from being hit by a refuse truck on June 6, 1989. whilst we were stationed in Germany. He was 5 and The driver had a couple of shift beers in his cab. 

He was in a coma for 36 hours and he sustained significant frontal lobe damage. He spent 3 months in traction in a German kinderhospital and another 7 months learning to walk again. He is one of the kindest, gentlest souls and is perpetually mentally 10.  A highly intelligent 10, but 10. Imagine if the kid in Jerry Macquire grew up but never changed. That's Joseph. 

I haven't seen my brother in 5 years.  I was pregnant. And then Tom was ill. Then pregnant again. And then Tom died. This is the first time I've been back to the US. I mean, I would 

What I don't say is this: 

He's my family. He is - quite literally - the only immediate family I have left. We have lived through things together that no one can understand. We have fought for, with and alongside eachother. And his heart completes mine.' It's schmaltzy and true. Our mother died after being in a vehicle explosion and our dad allowed grief and disappointment to devour him whole. In between there was a sister that never took a breath and arrived early, in pieces. That kind of history isn't something you allow to dictate your entire life but it is also something you don't walk away from. 

Instead, I say: 'i'm his big sister. That's my job.'  In the meantime, I've developed an affection for my friend 'Federally Recorded Line.' I wonder if I should send her a thank you card.