Assimilation versus Aculturation: the battle commences
Via Merriam-Webster
The decision to leave the UK was not an easy, at least not for me. In so many ways, the UK is my home. It is the country I have spent the longest in, it is the place where I have begun the difficult process rewiring my brain and striving to become the best version of myself. It is the place where I've learned to ease up on myself and other people, to relax and have fun, to be a Grown-Up when necessary, but not GROW UP. It is a place where I feel like I truest to myself and the people I care about. But it wasn't the best place for my partner so together we decided on a place that was not like the UK at all but a bit like Old Europe with a bit of the Wild West thrown in. We chose New Orleans, a city that has gone through many a rebirth and rebuild (and is so many ways is still going through one). And I don't regret it the move. I don't. I am just finding it harder than I thought to be "La nouvelle fille de la Nouvelle Orléans."
We chose this city and I've done my best to come to as I would any other; perhaps that is my mistake. I have bounded in all 'Golden Retriever,' and perhaps I should be more discerning, more cautious. I should take more time to suss out the areas I want to be involved in and how I work within these areas. I am in a period of transition on almost all fronts: as a romantic partner, as a parent, as a cultural heritage professional, as an urban dweller...maybe I just need to accept this as an incubation period and focus on the areas that keep flashing in shades of neon around me.
I don't want to lose my affinity for the UK, for London or East Anglia. But I also don't want my homesickness to overshadow this adventure and this place I've chosen. Trying to strike the balance in identities is harder than I can ever remember it being. I suppose that is down to the fact that most of my moves as an adult (or at least post-secondary school) have involved only me. And now there are 3 entities I am at least half-responsible for -- my daughter and my family, and my marriage -- who all have needs that warrant attending. Hardly a unique dilemma, I know.
I suppose my recent temper tantrum -- aside from a large freak-out about money and the way renovating a house (a very middle class temper tantrum; I know, slap me hard...this is definitely a #1stWorldProblems whinge and I need to snap out of it and I'm trying, I swear!)-- has a lot to do with just feeling trapped but all of the drastic changes that have taken place all at once. My instinct is to retreat into my shell and that is incredibly hard the older we get, especially with immediate connections (like toddlers) sharing our space. A cat or a dog will cuddle up and hunker down. A toddler, well...they want to climb and shout and pull you out of the dark gloominess.
as·sim·i·late
verb \ə-ˈsi-mə-ˌlāt\
: to learn (something) so that it is fully understood and can be used
: to cause (a person or group) to become part of a different society, country, etc.
: to adopt the ways of another culture : to fully become part of a different society, country, etc.
ac·cul·tur·a·tion
noun \ə-ˌkəl-chə-ˈrā-shən, a-\
1
: cultural modification of an individual, group, or people by adapting to or borrowing traits from another culture; also : a merging of cultures as a result of prolonged contact
2
: the process by which a human being acquires the culture of a particular society from infancy
The decision to leave the UK was not an easy, at least not for me. In so many ways, the UK is my home. It is the country I have spent the longest in, it is the place where I have begun the difficult process rewiring my brain and striving to become the best version of myself. It is the place where I've learned to ease up on myself and other people, to relax and have fun, to be a Grown-Up when necessary, but not GROW UP. It is a place where I feel like I truest to myself and the people I care about. But it wasn't the best place for my partner so together we decided on a place that was not like the UK at all but a bit like Old Europe with a bit of the Wild West thrown in. We chose New Orleans, a city that has gone through many a rebirth and rebuild (and is so many ways is still going through one). And I don't regret it the move. I don't. I am just finding it harder than I thought to be "La nouvelle fille de la Nouvelle Orléans."
We chose this city and I've done my best to come to as I would any other; perhaps that is my mistake. I have bounded in all 'Golden Retriever,' and perhaps I should be more discerning, more cautious. I should take more time to suss out the areas I want to be involved in and how I work within these areas. I am in a period of transition on almost all fronts: as a romantic partner, as a parent, as a cultural heritage professional, as an urban dweller...maybe I just need to accept this as an incubation period and focus on the areas that keep flashing in shades of neon around me.
I don't want to lose my affinity for the UK, for London or East Anglia. But I also don't want my homesickness to overshadow this adventure and this place I've chosen. Trying to strike the balance in identities is harder than I can ever remember it being. I suppose that is down to the fact that most of my moves as an adult (or at least post-secondary school) have involved only me. And now there are 3 entities I am at least half-responsible for -- my daughter and my family, and my marriage -- who all have needs that warrant attending. Hardly a unique dilemma, I know.
I suppose my recent temper tantrum -- aside from a large freak-out about money and the way renovating a house (a very middle class temper tantrum; I know, slap me hard...this is definitely a #1stWorldProblems whinge and I need to snap out of it and I'm trying, I swear!)-- has a lot to do with just feeling trapped but all of the drastic changes that have taken place all at once. My instinct is to retreat into my shell and that is incredibly hard the older we get, especially with immediate connections (like toddlers) sharing our space. A cat or a dog will cuddle up and hunker down. A toddler, well...they want to climb and shout and pull you out of the dark gloominess.
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